You.

This is all about you. I know. Why am I wasting my time on you? You're a douche. I can't believe what you've done. Although, it wasn't even bad at all. It just hurt. Bad. Every time I see your face in the halls, I question myself. What was it about me that wasn't good enough for you?

What is it that made you choose her?


That, I may never know. Though it haunts my dreams and follows me everywhere.
I miss seeing your face in front of mine- those vibrant, sparkling blue eyes and sandy-blonde hair.
I miss envisioning our relationship from start to finish, and every little nook and cranny in-between.

Sometimes, there was no finish.

But what I never knew was that you didn't seem to want to start.
"Afraid of a relationship" is what I heard over, and over again, and it resonated with me.
Because I, too, am deathly afraid of a relationship.

But I thought we could be afraid together.

Clearly, you wanted someone more mundane. More like the rest of them. I'd say "I get that", but I really don't. If I was in your position, I'd want something different- something other than the abundant high school girls you seem to gravitate towards.

I hate how I think she's somehow better than me.

What happened to all the signs? All the thoughts I had in my head, and all of those things that told me, "I like you"?

Because, in the end, I know I could have loved you.

But you never let me. You led me on, and it hurt in the end. Love sucks, but it sucks even more when you know something wonderful could have happened.

I wish this wasn't over, and we still had a chance.